You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
