i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
