and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
