Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
