you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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