Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
