dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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