Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Apparently you make a good broom.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
