actually, I'm a sock model
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i think im in europe. pls send help
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
