My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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