i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
