I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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