i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
