sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
