He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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