I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
