Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
high people should be assigned attendants
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
