bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
