First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I've blown a few things in my day
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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