He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
