He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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