i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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