My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
