ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
