you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
only you would photoshop your dick
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
