what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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