i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I did not marry a roomba.
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