Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
