It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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