i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
