is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish I only lived at night.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
