Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
