Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
