Me. At least after what I've been through.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
