Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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