Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
