So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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