It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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