I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
