i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
