i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize