you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
