This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
