Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
