after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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