All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
