Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So much rum. So many feels.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
