do herpes really smell.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
