Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All I want is dick and wine.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
