I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
