dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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