im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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