It's a beautiful day for a hangover
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
