pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
