after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
