i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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