she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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