I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We just shotgunned beers for America
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
