i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I understand Curling. That high.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
