My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
