Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
