bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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