Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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