Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
