he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
