I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
